Psalms of Ascent

Our bible study is doing one of Beth Moore’s bible studies…Stepping Up…A Journey Through The Psalms of Ascent.

The description from LifeWay is this:

Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent – Member Book by Beth Moore provides a personal study experience five days a week plus viewer guides for PsalmsOfAscentthe group video sessions of this in-depth women’s Bible study of Psalms 120-134. Traveling pilgrims sang these psalms both on the way to the great festivals of the LORD and as key elements of the worship at those festivals. Just as a song or poem can express feelings of fear, doubt, hope, and joy, these 15 psalms model how we can voice our own petitions and praises to our God, who is always available and ready to hear us.

Explore the major feasts of Israel and journey with Beth through this 7-session study. Themes of unity, joy, gratitude, redemption, repentance, the power of blessings, facing ridicule, and more are explored in detail. Modern-day believers in Jesus Christ can learn much from these treasured Psalms in their journey toward greater intimacy with God.

Something that Beth said in our first session that struck me is “Mean what you sing…Sing what you mean”  How many times have you stepped into worship and just weren’t “feeling” it?  Did you just sing the songs from worship without any real thought behind what you were singing?  Wow, I had never realized that sometimes I do this.  Now I make a conscious effort into making sure the words I’m singing are words I mean…if they aren’t, I take time to pray that God would get me to that point of meaning those words.

“Songs move us and God fully intended it to” ~ Beth MooreWorshiperByDesign

I am amazed at how God takes different bible studies and ties them all together.  I started reading a book a few weeks prior to our first bible study meeting called “Worshiper By Design: A Unique Look At Why We Were Created” By John W. Stevenson…some of the things that I’m learning in that book were confirmed in the bible study with Beth Moore!

God is Awesome!!!  I just love when He speaks to me and shows me new things that I need to know, things I need to learn, or just things I’ve never really thought about before!   I am forever being changed by God…and I love it!

cmannabelle

Friendship

I have been thinking a lot about friends…the ones I have now and the ones that have drifted in and out of my life.  I sometimes get so frustrated wondering why some have drifted away, but know that God had a purpose for them in my life and sometimes it’s time to let go.  Not that we won’t be friends any longer, just won’t be as close as we once were.  It saddens my heart at times.

I came across this poem on the internet and thought I’d share…

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

cmannabelle

So Much Excitement!!

So last week we had quite a bit of excitement around here!

On Monday, the tornado sirens were going off.  The storm moved through, but no tornado, just a lot of high winds.

Then on Wednesday night, we had tornado sirens going off again around 6 pm.  We have group at our house at 7 pm, so we were a bit worried, but watching the news stations, we saw that the storm moved to the North of us.  After group was over, I watched the news and saw that another line of storms were heading this way, so I went ahead and stayed up to watch the news.

As I was laying there, around 12:30 am, the newscaster stated that “the chance of a tornado is minimal”.  So I started to get comfortable in bed.  Just then, we heard this HORRIFIC noise and Kevin shot straight up out of bed…we went running up stairs to get the boys into the basement.  Once we finally got down there, we waited for Kevin to finally get the dog to go down.  He had peeked out the window before heading downstairs and told me that our table outside (that has 4 big tiles in it) was flipped over.

After the storm had died down, we sent the kids back up to their bedroom, Kevin and I headed outside to take a look at the damage.  Our grill had been flipped, our table flipped, chairs scattered all over, out front, we saw the news crew driving through, ambulances coming into the development, and some siding in our front yard.

The next morning, Kevin called to let me know our chair was across the street and we should go get it.  Here are some photos of what I saw once the sun was up!

IMG_5620

Our Grill

IMG_5623

Our Table

IMG_5624

Our Neighbor’s play set with a gutter wrapped around it

IMG_5625

Can’t see it well, but there’s a lot of debris over by the fence

IMG_5626

The street near us.many trees down, lots of damage

IMG_5635

A neighbor’s damaged roof

IMG_5637

Another neighbor who had damage and people out fixing it

IMG_5633

A flipped over car

IMG_5639

Same debris that I tried to show you from my yard…it’s from the next photo’s house!

IMG_5634

House lost most of the 2nd story!

The national weather service decided that a F1 tornado had hit our neighborhood.  Now why they didn’t sound the sirens during this storm, we have no idea.  Had this storm hit at a different spot, we could have lost so much.  All 4 of our boys were upstairs sleeping when this hit.  I just Thank God for our protection during this storm that came out of nowhere!

cmannabelle

Bible Study

BethMoore

Our Women’s Bible study is doing Beth Moore’s Here and Now…There and Then I was nervous about starting a bible study in Revelation, afraid that I would get lost, but I had this longing to really dig into Revelation too.

I’m so glad that I joined this bible study.  It can be overwhelming at times, but since we only meet once a week, it gives me a week to digest the whole lesson, going back and doing the homework that is listed after each session a couple days after the bible study.

If you you have the chance to go through this study, I would highly recommend it.  I have learned so much and we are only on Chapter 7 of Revelation!!

cmannabelle

My life…interrupted!

My life is a combination of many different interruptions!

When I was 16, I knew EVERYTHING! I was grounded for something (and for the life of me, I cannot remember why…we won’t say it’s because I’ll be 37 next week), but I wanted to go out anyway. So I took off and went out with a friend of mine. It was a Sunday night, so my curfew was 9 pm on a school night. I knew that even though I was out and my parents knew where I was, they weren’t happy since I was grounded. I was on my way home from dropping off my friend (who, consequently is now my sister-in-law), I knew I would be home before my curfew, so my parents wouldn’t be any madder at me. As I approached our town limits (that sounds funny, but village limits sounds even funnier even if it is what I lived in), I saw a car heading out of town. But what was so significant about this car is that it was in my lane…I pulled over as far as I could without hitting the parked cars on the side of the road and BAM!! The car hit me…head on (more on the passenger side than the driver’s though). And at that moment my life would NEVER be the same.

I was 16 years old, in a hospital bed, with a broken femur, being told I was lucky to be alive since my bone was resting on the main artery in my leg while I was in the car…only to be told that I may never be able to have children because of my injuries! What a devastating blow that was! As a young girl, I had always dreamed of being a mommy…always had baby dolls and stuffed animals that I “mommied” growing up. My life in that moment was interrupted!!
When I met my husband a few years later, we had talked about how I may never have any children. Being the person I am, I kept telling myself it was fine, but deep down, it wasn’t. After being ministered to in our church by a minister who only spoke Spanish (I don’t know any Spanish…I can only speak English), he prayed for me and in that moment, I knew God had moved in my life. A few months after that, I became pregnant with my 1st son.

When my son was 1, my husband got a new job…it was a great opportunity, I would be able to be a stay at home mom. The problem…we had to move from Ohio to Colorado. I didn’t know anyone in Colorado (except for a cousin that was estranged from our family). I was a shy person by nature, so this sort of freaked me out…A LOT!!! We moved, things worked out just fine, I met friends, and the best thing about those 2 years in Colorado…my husband and I grew so much closer to the Lord. And we were pregnant with our 2nd child (another boy).

2 weeks after our 2nd child was born, we were moving again…from Colorado to Minnesota. Again, there wasn’t anyone in Minnesota that I knew, and I was 2 weeks postpartum! We enjoyed the 4 years we lived out in Colorado. God taught me how to open up more and not to be so shy. Again, our marriage grew stronger.

In 2004, we were so excited to find out that we would be moving back to Ohio…an hour from family, but what’s an hour when you lived 20 hours away? Our family was complete, 2 boys, back in Ohio, what more could we want? My oldest was in 2nd grade, my youngest was 4, he’d be in Kindergarten the next couple of years, and I was looking forward to the time that I would have while the boys were in school…all the scrapbooking I would get done, how I would be able to volunteer in the schools, etc. In a moment, that all changed…with a positive pregnancy test staring me in the face! How could this be? I was 30 years old, I was done having children, we just moved closer to family, we sold all our baby items before we moved to Ohio…it took a month or so for me to accept that I was actually pregnant. 18 weeks later, I had invited my mom to come to the ultrasound to see our baby (something she’s never seen before). I laid on the table, the ultrasound tech came in and turned on the machine, took 1 swipe across my stomach and said, “Yep, there are 2 in there”. As if just being pregnant wasn’t interruption enough, now I’m having twins!! Instead of having to buy 1 of everything, we would now need 2 of everything…and both were boys! How could that be? Well, I only had 13 weeks to process the idea of having twins before I was being told that my body wasn’t handling the pregnancy well and that I had what is called HELLP syndrome…my liver wasn’t working properly and if it stopped working, the rest of my organs would stop working. 2 days later, I was standing in the NICU staring at my 2 – 2pound babies in their beds! Processing the fact that I was now a mother of 4 boys, I had almost died having them was a lot to comprehend. I went through a lot of emotions. God was there, he brought us through their 4 weeks in the NICU and they just celebrated their 6th birthday yesterday…both are healthy boys!

As I said earlier, my life is one big interruption after another!! But with each interruption, I’ve grown closer to God and have seen the blessings multiply in each time. To go from not being able to have children, to having 4 boys…my life has been altered drastically and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world!

**Note: This is the comment I posted on http://www.goingbeyond.com/blog/altered-plans

cmannabelle

Like the Wisemen of Old…Come follow the Star

As the Christmas season is approaching, I have been listening to my Christmas music. One of the songs that I listened to today was “Follow the Star” by Point of Grace and Clay Cross.

As you listen to the music, ponder the words (listed below the video)…

Point of Grace/Clay Crosse–Follow The Star

O, winter night of wonder – night of promise long foretold
When angel voices filled the heavens high above
Announced the joy of the ages and His glory to behold
For into this world is born the wondrous Child of Love
O, star of hope that leads us to His manger
Shine your light upon the newborn King
For all who seek to find new life
Make a gift of your heart
And follow the star
To hear the song that heaven sings
Like the wise men of old
Come follow the star
They laid their gifts before Him on that night so long ago
Stood in His presence every pilgrim great and small
To worship at His manger is to kneel before His throne
Laying our burdens down the greatest gift of all
O, star divine that brings us to our Savior
Give the light of love to show us our way
In place of gold lay down your life
In place of frankincense and myrrh
Abandon all

I pray that through this Christmas season that the story of Jesus’ birth will become real to you and that you would recognize what it meant for God to step down out of heaven to save you and me!
God gave us such a wonderful gift of his Son. And it was just that…a gift. There was nothing we did to deserve such a gift. And the best thing is that we get to celebrate His birth at this time of year.

May you all have a Blessed Christmas Season!!

cmannabelle

Change is inevitable

My life is in no where what I thought it would be.  As a young girl, I remember playing “school” with my stuffed animals and dolls because I wanted to become a teacher.  As I grew older, I wanted to be an accountant (that was until I attempted accounting in college…decided that I couldn’t deal with all those numbers!!).  A slight change in my classes and I got my degree in computers.  I enjoy working on computers! :)

One thing that I had always wanted to be as a young child was a mother.  I had all my dolls…most of which were girls…and played with them all the time.  I even remember one year my parents buying me a doll that was the size of a 6 month old baby (even wore 6 month old baby clothes).  I took that doll everywhere…we even went garage saleing for clothes for this doll!  I put it into the bath (not a good idea to do with a cloth doll) and dried it off with the hair dryer (again…not such a good idea with a cloth doll), which resulted in a hole in the belly of my baby…just a slight burn!  What a great mom!  LOL  Nothing that a onsie put onto my baby (permanently) wouldn’t fix…didn’t want to lose all that stuffing!  I played with that doll a lot!!  (well, until her head popped off…then I had to throw her away)

So here I am today…I’m not a teacher or an accountant.  And that degree in computers?  I’ve never had a job that I could use that degree in…and since computers have changed so much since I graduated from college, my degree isn’t worth much!!  I am a mother…but of boys! :)  And I don’t work…well, outside of my house for money.

Not quite what I had thought my life would be, but that’s ok, God knows what he’s doing.  I couldn’t imagine what my life would even look like if it were my decision on what it would be.

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
Jeremiah 29:11-13

I’m forever changed…in more ways than one. I’m ok with that!

cmannabelle

I was only 16…Part 3

You can read Part 1 Here

You can read Part 2 Here

I was only 16 when they told me I may never be able to have children.  How does a 16 year old comprehend that?  It was something that went in one ear and out the other…not to be thought about again until I met Kevin (a year later).

When Kevin and I started getting serious, I flat out told him that I may never be able to have any children.  His response “Then we’ll just adopt”…he didn’t even hesitate…it was an automatic response!

Fast forward a few years…Kevin and I had been married for 2 years and at Praise and Worship practice (yep, even back then I sang and Kevin ran sound).  There was a Hispanic minister that had preached at our church that morning with an interpreter.  However, he was at practice (which we did on Sunday nights) without the interpreter.  He spoke very little English…just enough that you could get the jest of what was being said.

He began praying over each member of the Worship team.  I had NEVER shared with anyone on the team (nor the pastor) about what the doctors had said to me in regards to having children.  He got to me and asked me if I wanted to have children (basically only said the word child…or was it baby…anyway, enough that I knew what he was talking about).  I shook my head.  He began praying for me.  During that prayer the only words I could understand was baby…not your fault…and boy.  He would pray, giggle a little and say boy…this happened a couple different times…if you know my family as it is now, you can probably imagine what he was seeing as he was praying.  At the time, I had no children, so I didn’t understand the whole prayer.

Within a few months (only a couple of actually trying), I became pregnant with my 1st child.  I believe with all my heart that God healed me that day.  I may have been 16 when they told me I may never have any children, but I was 22 when I went to my family and told them that I was going to have a baby!

cmannabelle

I was only 16…Part 2

You can read Part 1 Here

As the ENT assessed me, he asked me if I felt any pain.  My answer…Nope.  They had to pry the door open and climb into the back seat of my car to get me onto a stretcher.  That question about pain…my answer changed as soon as they started moving me!!  Oh yeah, I probably should mention that as they were getting me out of the car…this is when I realized that my leg was broken.  My right knee had hit the dashboard and the side of my leg had hit the gear shift, breaking my femur on my right leg. I also noticed that the steering wheel had been snapped in half too and my head had hit the windshield.

They loaded me onto the ambulance and they also loaded the guy that hit me onto the same ambulance…again…small town, only 1 ambulance.  Off we go to the hospital.  While in the ambulance, I started getting those cold chills…(shock) I was loaded up with blankets.  But the more I shivered, the more my leg hurt.

Once we got to the hospital, the drama started!  Most of which I found out AFTER the fact.  The man that hit me told the staff that I was his daughter and he wanted to know how I was.  What threw a wrench into that was my parents showed up asking about me.  As all that got figured out, the doctor started in with the x-rays and the nurses came in trying to keep me calm.

From my bed, I could see the light window thing that they show the x-ray films on (I have no clue what that’s called) and could see that my femur was broken.  My parents were told that I would have to have surgery first thing in the morning and their choice was to put a rod into my leg or to put me into a full body cast (which I would have to relearn how to walk).  They chose the rod.

The next thing I can remember is being upstairs in a room with many doctors and nurses standing around my bed and this traction machine over my head.  Yep…time to put me into traction.  I know I had mentioned earlier that my head hit the windshield…yep, that threw a kink into the traction…They started pumping the morphine into my IV as they started putting the traction in.  Do you know that pain medicine takes a little while to work?  Yep…I felt them put the traction in!  Apparently, my parents were on the 1st floor while they had me on the 3rd floor.  They didn’t want them up there until the traction was finished.

After all that, it was time for me to relax (as much as you can in traction)…surgery would be the next day!

Morning of surgery…I don’t remember much.  I can remember being in the operation room and counting, then waking up back in my room.  Not much excitement…except the traction was gone and now I had a long incision on my right hip where the rod went into my leg. They noticed that my hand was swelling, so they brought the x-ray machine up to see if there were any broken bones in my left hand.  Thankfully there weren’t, however they did fit me with a brace so I could use crutches.  There was also a lot of other trauma in other places…long story short on that, the doctors told me (and my parents) that I may never be able to have children.  As part of therapy, they put me in a machine that automatically bent my leg…I didn’t do anything!  A day after surgery, I was up on crutches…I had to be taught how to use them.  I didn’t get the whole stairs thing very easily.  I went home and was out of school for about a month.

To be continued…

cmannabelle

I was only 16…Part 1

I was only 16 when the doctors told me…

I guess I should go back and start from the beginning…

It was a Sunday, my nephew’s dedication.  I was asked to be his God Mother.  How neat for a 16 year old to have a God Son!  It started out as an awesome day!

That evening, after his dedication, I decided to hang out with a friend of mine.  I had my license, she had her permit…I was going to be her license driver…we were going cruising!  I drove my little red Chevette out to her house and we got into her car and headed out.  Since curfew was at 9 (school night and all…), we came home in plenty of time for me to drive home.

I climbed back into my car and started home.  As I came into town, I slowed down…didn’t want to get pulled over by a cop!  I noticed a car with it’s headlights coming my way…it looked like it was over the center line, so I slowed down even more and pulled closer to the parked cars.  Little did I realize that the next few moments would define the rest of my life!

Seconds after slowing way down and pulling closer to those parked cars, I realized that this car was coming fast and it was in my lane!  There was no place for me to go!  My adrenaline kicked in and I grabbed a hold of the steering wheel ready to brace myself against this car that was coming fast.

A split second later, my car was mangled, and facing the left side of the road.  As I looked around, I saw the other car stopped a few yards past me.  The next thing I can remember was me trying to open my door.  It was stuck!  A lady (who happened to be the Chief of Police’s daughter) approached my car and asked me if I was ok…still in a dazed, I said I thought so, she then asked if I would like her to call my parents (the benefits of growing up in a small town, everyone knows everyone and their parents).

I hear the sirens of the ambulance.  Then one of the ENT’s came over and started talking to me (he happened to be a Sunday School teacher at the church I went to).  He put the brace around my neck and did his assessment from the door.  Told me not to move.

My parents showed up and were a bit shocked.  They had told me at a later date that they figured that I had hit a parked car or something…the scene they came up on was not what they had expected.  Dad came over to the car and started talking to me.  I could tell he desperately wanted to help them get me out of the car…but the ENT insisted that my dad NOT touch me (we were told later why).

Things from that night are still a bit fuzzy…so some of the above information may be a bit off, but for the most part, it is as accurate as I can remember.

To be continued…

cmannabelle