Christian Momma

My life is a combination of many different interruptions!

When I was 16, I knew EVERYTHING! I was grounded for something (and for the life of me, I cannot remember why…we won’t say it’s because I’ll be 37 next week), but I wanted to go out anyway. So I took off and went out with a friend of mine. It was a Sunday night, so my curfew was 9 pm on a school night. I knew that even though I was out and my parents knew where I was, they weren’t happy since I was grounded. I was on my way home from dropping off my friend (who, consequently is now my sister-in-law), I knew I would be home before my curfew, so my parents wouldn’t be any madder at me. As I approached our town limits (that sounds funny, but village limits sounds even funnier even if it is what I lived in), I saw a car heading out of town. But what was so significant about this car is that it was in my lane…I pulled over as far as I could without hitting the parked cars on the side of the road and BAM!! The car hit me…head on (more on the passenger side than the driver’s though). And at that moment my life would NEVER be the same.

I was 16 years old, in a hospital bed, with a broken femur, being told I was lucky to be alive since my bone was resting on the main artery in my leg while I was in the car…only to be told that I may never be able to have children because of my injuries! What a devastating blow that was! As a young girl, I had always dreamed of being a mommy…always had baby dolls and stuffed animals that I “mommied” growing up. My life in that moment was interrupted!!
When I met my husband a few years later, we had talked about how I may never have any children. Being the person I am, I kept telling myself it was fine, but deep down, it wasn’t. After being ministered to in our church by a minister who only spoke Spanish (I don’t know any Spanish…I can only speak English), he prayed for me and in that moment, I knew God had moved in my life. A few months after that, I became pregnant with my 1st son.

When my son was 1, my husband got a new job…it was a great opportunity, I would be able to be a stay at home mom. The problem…we had to move from Ohio to Colorado. I didn’t know anyone in Colorado (except for a cousin that was estranged from our family). I was a shy person by nature, so this sort of freaked me out…A LOT!!! We moved, things worked out just fine, I met friends, and the best thing about those 2 years in Colorado…my husband and I grew so much closer to the Lord. And we were pregnant with our 2nd child (another boy).

2 weeks after our 2nd child was born, we were moving again…from Colorado to Minnesota. Again, there wasn’t anyone in Minnesota that I knew, and I was 2 weeks postpartum! We enjoyed the 4 years we lived out in Colorado. God taught me how to open up more and not to be so shy. Again, our marriage grew stronger.

In 2004, we were so excited to find out that we would be moving back to Ohio…an hour from family, but what’s an hour when you lived 20 hours away? Our family was complete, 2 boys, back in Ohio, what more could we want? My oldest was in 2nd grade, my youngest was 4, he’d be in Kindergarten the next couple of years, and I was looking forward to the time that I would have while the boys were in school…all the scrapbooking I would get done, how I would be able to volunteer in the schools, etc. In a moment, that all changed…with a positive pregnancy test staring me in the face! How could this be? I was 30 years old, I was done having children, we just moved closer to family, we sold all our baby items before we moved to Ohio…it took a month or so for me to accept that I was actually pregnant. 18 weeks later, I had invited my mom to come to the ultrasound to see our baby (something she’s never seen before). I laid on the table, the ultrasound tech came in and turned on the machine, took 1 swipe across my stomach and said, “Yep, there are 2 in there”. As if just being pregnant wasn’t interruption enough, now I’m having twins!! Instead of having to buy 1 of everything, we would now need 2 of everything…and both were boys! How could that be? Well, I only had 13 weeks to process the idea of having twins before I was being told that my body wasn’t handling the pregnancy well and that I had what is called HELLP syndrome…my liver wasn’t working properly and if it stopped working, the rest of my organs would stop working. 2 days later, I was standing in the NICU staring at my 2 – 2pound babies in their beds! Processing the fact that I was now a mother of 4 boys, I had almost died having them was a lot to comprehend. I went through a lot of emotions. God was there, he brought us through their 4 weeks in the NICU and they just celebrated their 6th birthday yesterday…both are healthy boys!

As I said earlier, my life is one big interruption after another!! But with each interruption, I’ve grown closer to God and have seen the blessings multiply in each time. To go from not being able to have children, to having 4 boys…my life has been altered drastically and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world!

**Note: This is the comment I posted on http://www.goingbeyond.com/blog/altered-plans

You can read Part 1 Here

You can read Part 2 Here

I was only 16 when they told me I may never be able to have children.  How does a 16 year old comprehend that?  It was something that went in one ear and out the other…not to be thought about again until I met Kevin (a year later).

When Kevin and I started getting serious, I flat out told him that I may never be able to have any children.  His response “Then we’ll just adopt”…he didn’t even hesitate…it was an automatic response!

Fast forward a few years…Kevin and I had been married for 2 years and at Praise and Worship practice (yep, even back then I sang and Kevin ran sound).  There was a Hispanic minister that had preached at our church that morning with an interpreter.  However, he was at practice (which we did on Sunday nights) without the interpreter.  He spoke very little English…just enough that you could get the jest of what was being said.

He began praying over each member of the Worship team.  I had NEVER shared with anyone on the team (nor the pastor) about what the doctors had said to me in regards to having children.  He got to me and asked me if I wanted to have children (basically only said the word child…or was it baby…anyway, enough that I knew what he was talking about).  I shook my head.  He began praying for me.  During that prayer the only words I could understand was baby…not your fault…and boy.  He would pray, giggle a little and say boy…this happened a couple different times…if you know my family as it is now, you can probably imagine what he was seeing as he was praying.  At the time, I had no children, so I didn’t understand the whole prayer.

Within a few months (only a couple of actually trying), I became pregnant with my 1st child.  I believe with all my heart that God healed me that day.  I may have been 16 when they told me I may never have any children, but I was 22 when I went to my family and told them that I was going to have a baby!

You can read Part 1 Here

As the ENT assessed me, he asked me if I felt any pain.  My answer…Nope.  They had to pry the door open and climb into the back seat of my car to get me onto a stretcher.  That question about pain…my answer changed as soon as they started moving me!!  Oh yeah, I probably should mention that as they were getting me out of the car…this is when I realized that my leg was broken.  My right knee had hit the dashboard and the side of my leg had hit the gear shift, breaking my femur on my right leg. I also noticed that the steering wheel had been snapped in half too and my head had hit the windshield.

They loaded me onto the ambulance and they also loaded the guy that hit me onto the same ambulance…again…small town, only 1 ambulance.  Off we go to the hospital.  While in the ambulance, I started getting those cold chills…(shock) I was loaded up with blankets.  But the more I shivered, the more my leg hurt.

Once we got to the hospital, the drama started!  Most of which I found out AFTER the fact.  The man that hit me told the staff that I was his daughter and he wanted to know how I was.  What threw a wrench into that was my parents showed up asking about me.  As all that got figured out, the doctor started in with the x-rays and the nurses came in trying to keep me calm.

From my bed, I could see the light window thing that they show the x-ray films on (I have no clue what that’s called) and could see that my femur was broken.  My parents were told that I would have to have surgery first thing in the morning and their choice was to put a rod into my leg or to put me into a full body cast (which I would have to relearn how to walk).  They chose the rod.

The next thing I can remember is being upstairs in a room with many doctors and nurses standing around my bed and this traction machine over my head.  Yep…time to put me into traction.  I know I had mentioned earlier that my head hit the windshield…yep, that threw a kink into the traction…They started pumping the morphine into my IV as they started putting the traction in.  Do you know that pain medicine takes a little while to work?  Yep…I felt them put the traction in!  Apparently, my parents were on the 1st floor while they had me on the 3rd floor.  They didn’t want them up there until the traction was finished.

After all that, it was time for me to relax (as much as you can in traction)…surgery would be the next day!

Morning of surgery…I don’t remember much.  I can remember being in the operation room and counting, then waking up back in my room.  Not much excitement…except the traction was gone and now I had a long incision on my right hip where the rod went into my leg. They noticed that my hand was swelling, so they brought the x-ray machine up to see if there were any broken bones in my left hand.  Thankfully there weren’t, however they did fit me with a brace so I could use crutches.  There was also a lot of other trauma in other places…long story short on that, the doctors told me (and my parents) that I may never be able to have children.  As part of therapy, they put me in a machine that automatically bent my leg…I didn’t do anything!  A day after surgery, I was up on crutches…I had to be taught how to use them.  I didn’t get the whole stairs thing very easily.  I went home and was out of school for about a month.

To be continued…

I was only 16 when the doctors told me…

I guess I should go back and start from the beginning…

It was a Sunday, my nephew’s dedication.  I was asked to be his God Mother.  How neat for a 16 year old to have a God Son!  It started out as an awesome day!

That evening, after his dedication, I decided to hang out with a friend of mine.  I had my license, she had her permit…I was going to be her license driver…we were going cruising!  I drove my little red Chevette out to her house and we got into her car and headed out.  Since curfew was at 9 (school night and all…), we came home in plenty of time for me to drive home.

I climbed back into my car and started home.  As I came into town, I slowed down…didn’t want to get pulled over by a cop!  I noticed a car with it’s headlights coming my way…it looked like it was over the center line, so I slowed down even more and pulled closer to the parked cars.  Little did I realize that the next few moments would define the rest of my life!

Seconds after slowing way down and pulling closer to those parked cars, I realized that this car was coming fast and it was in my lane!  There was no place for me to go!  My adrenaline kicked in and I grabbed a hold of the steering wheel ready to brace myself against this car that was coming fast.

A split second later, my car was mangled, and facing the left side of the road.  As I looked around, I saw the other car stopped a few yards past me.  The next thing I can remember was me trying to open my door.  It was stuck!  A lady (who happened to be the Chief of Police’s daughter) approached my car and asked me if I was ok…still in a dazed, I said I thought so, she then asked if I would like her to call my parents (the benefits of growing up in a small town, everyone knows everyone and their parents).

I hear the sirens of the ambulance.  Then one of the ENT’s came over and started talking to me (he happened to be a Sunday School teacher at the church I went to).  He put the brace around my neck and did his assessment from the door.  Told me not to move.

My parents showed up and were a bit shocked.  They had told me at a later date that they figured that I had hit a parked car or something…the scene they came up on was not what they had expected.  Dad came over to the car and started talking to me.  I could tell he desperately wanted to help them get me out of the car…but the ENT insisted that my dad NOT touch me (we were told later why).

Things from that night are still a bit fuzzy…so some of the above information may be a bit off, but for the most part, it is as accurate as I can remember.

To be continued…

Week 2 of our Bible Study questions…

Describe a time when you were in deep communion with God…How were you feeling? What were you thinking? What was going on inside of you?
I feel an urgency inside my soul, urging me to pray ad to humble myself before God. Even with the urgency, there’s a Peace, knowing that He’s there caring, talking and sharing with me. I am weak and can not get up from where I am. My thoughts are all consumed with God and His presence. Nothing on earth could shake or distract me at that moment. I am forever changed in that moment, never able to look back! My heart leaps. My body shakes…as if cold, yet I’m not.

How would you describe God at that moment?
How does one begin to describe God in that moment? I don’t know how to describe Him…he’s Powerful, Kind, Calming, Peaceful, Comforting, Direct, Friendly, Loving, Warm, full of Mercy and Grace…the list could go on.

What 1 think could you do to Praise God?
Stop complaining about things and start praying about them instead!

Have you surrendered yourself fully to God?
At one point in my life I know that I have…but at this moment, if I’m being total honest (and that’s what I want), I’d say that I’m holding onto something…I need to let go…I need to figure out what it is and why I think I need to hold onto it.

How will what you learned impact your worship?
I will focus my attention inward and search my heart for what it is that I’m holding onto. I want to fully surrender to God

Lessons Learned…
Describe a significant event that happened in your life.
So, I went out and did what every 16 year old does with her friends (well in my little town that is), we went cruising! We used her car since mine wasn’t in any shape to be driving around outside of our little town (according to my parents)…Too unreliable. After a night of driving around, I got into my little Chevette and headed back home. On my way home, I see car headlights coming straight toward my car. I slow down and pull closer to the parked cars. Still that car comes at me. I then realize it was going to hit me…I brace my arms against the steering wheel and prepare for impact.

I close my eyes and when I open them, I’m not facing the direction I once was. I look around and there’s a car not too far from mine all dented in as well. As I glance around my little car, I see some part of the engine laying down in the passenger seat. The steering wheel has been snapped in half. Out of habit, I pull down the mirror and see that a tooth had been moved in my mouth…my reaction…push it back into place.

I reach for my door…it won’t open…my seatbelt is completely stretched out and won’t retract. I can’t get out…I’m trying and trying, but the door won’t open.

A lady comes to my door…”Are you ok, do you want me to call your parents”

I manage to tell her yes, and sit there. I just want to get out of my car. Here comes the rescue…they come over to me, climb into my passenger seat and start checking me out. He asks if I’m ok…I know this man, he was a Sunday School teacher I had once before. I tell him yeah, but I think my foot might be broke..I can’t move it. I begin to tell him that my door won’t open, I tried. He says “Sit tight, we’ll get you out of here.”

Dad comes over to the car to see how I am…I tell him I’m scared, I want out. He tries to help the rescue worker get me out, only to be told to STOP, Please don’t move her, we’ll take care of this. The next thing I see is my dad talking to the cop (they are friends).

They start moving me, OUCH, my leg hurts…BAD! Oh wait, it’s not my foot that is broke, it’s my leg! With a lot of pain and work, they finally get me out of the car. But not before cutting my door!

Now I’m cold, really cold. I want so much to be warm, I’m scared…

They take me in the ambulance to the hospital…the guy that hit me is in the same ambulance…I don’t like that. I feel every little bump that the go over.

At the hospital, things are crazy…x-rays, needles, lights…where are my parents?? After a little while, they come in. (This was told to me later, but apparently the guy that hit me had told the hospital staff that I was his daughter and we had been in a car accident and he wanted to know how I was…when my parents got there and told them they were my parents, there were some problems…they had to figure out who I belonged to). I hear the doctor talking to my parents…I strain to see the x-ray, but I can’t. I hear him say, it’s broke, she’ll have to have surgery and a rod placed in her leg. It has to be tomorrow.

They wheel me up to the 3rd floor to put traction into my leg. My parents were told to stay down on the 1st floor and they’d come and get them when that was finished.

I’m in a room, it’s all white, there are a bunch of nurses standing around me. I know a couple of them from church. They are going to put traction into my leg…I can’t have pain medication yet…OUCH that hurts…I’m crying, I’m screaming…why can’t they numb me? The nurse starts pumping in the morphine, but it’s not helping. The nurse that I know leans in and tells me that this is almost over and that I can squeeze or bite her hand if I wanted…she looks really concerned. She said she can’t give me any more medication since I had hit my head in the crash.

Finally, it’s over…No more pain…I’m tired…I want my parents.

I’ll speed this story up a bit because so much of it is still fuzzy in my head. I had a broken Femur in my right leg. Apparently the break was clean, however, the bones were laying too close to that main artery in my leg and that’s why they couldn’t allow my dad to help them for fear that I would bleed to death. Because of all the injuries I sustained (I won’t go into all that, some of it is TMI, but you are getting the main of it) and all the x-rays that were taken, I was told that I may never be able to have children. I was in the hospital for 1 week and out of school for 1 month. I healed very quickly, the doctor was so surprised! At the time of the accident (September), he didn’t think I’d be able to play softball, but by the time February rolled around, I was well enough and strong enough to play softball!

Fast forward 5 years. I am now married and we’ve already accepted the fact I may never have children, although we’ve never attempted to try and we did protect ourselves “just in case.” While in church practicing with the Praise & Worship team, we had a Hispanic Preacher come into our church and minister to us. He was there that morning with an interrupter, but tonight, for whatever reason, the interrupter isn’t around. He begins praying for each member of our team. I’m last, he looks at me (mind you I don’t speak an ounce of Spanish), and asks if I want a baby (in his VERY broken english, I only understood the word baby). I stand there shaking my head. He begins praying over me and says it’s not your fault and boy…those are the only thing I understand…along with the chuckles that come from him. He keeps saying boy, boy, boy and chuckles. I don’t understand, but I know God is working in my life…I feel things happening in my uterus. 2 years later, I had my 1st boy…(3 others follow in time).

What did you learn from that event? How were you impacted because of that lesson learned?
Even though I went through such a tragedy, my faith has grown so much over the years from the remnants of what happened to me. I could have been so angry with the man that hit me, but I wasn’t. I could have died, but I didn’t. I could have blamed God for everything that happened, but I didn’t, I clung to God! I had a renewed faith and the seeds were beginning to grow at that time. Then with the miracle of being able to have children, I don’t doubt for one minute that I wasn’t healed. The doctors told my parents about me not having children as well, so it wasn’t just something I thought I had heard. After my twins were born in 2005, my mom said she was so proud of me and thought I wouldn’t ever have any children, I looked at her and told her, I know, and reminded her of the Hispanic Preacher that prayed over me.

This event has helped me grow into the person I am today. I am forever changed by the events that happened…not only physically, but Spiritually as well!