Christian Momma

Ok, I’ve been pumping since the twins were born…

(Possible TMI for some below…)

I think I’m doing pretty good so far…I’m producing an average of 107 ml’s at each pump. It is anywhere from 1/2 a bottle to almost a full bottle (the ones the hospital give me for storage they hold 80 ml in each bottle). I’m pumping for 15 minutes every 2-3 hours. Some days there is less than others, but I think this is wonderful considering I haven’t had them at my breast at all!! I’m just hoping and praying that when they come home that I can actually nurse them and not have to just pump!

Things are going really well…I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to hold them both at the same time without dropping one or losing my grip. However, I’m finding out that it’s not that hard. The nurses will put them both on my lap and I’ve been able to maneuver them around my lap without problems. I guess I am capable of doing this. I’m sure I’ll figure things out as they get older too!

I have to say that more and more I’m feeling like a new mom…it’s hard to think that way when you come home to the normal day to day routine and your babies aren’t here with you. But as each day goes by, I start to realize that it won’t be much longer for my babies to come home!!

Twin update (as of 2/27/05 9:30 pm):
Andrew now weighs 3 pounds!!! Daniel now weighs 3 pounds 1.4 ounces!!! They finally hit the 3 pound mark!! YEAH!! They are both still doing great, no set backs at all! They now eat every 3 hours…27 cc’s with an extra 24 calorie fortifier added to the breast milk!

Oh and I have to add…CONGRATS to my friend who found out she was pregnant last week!! I’m so happy for you!!

I feel…: accomplished

This poem didn’t have a title or an author listed, but boy does it speak to how I feel!!

As I love you thru the glass,
the hours seem so slow to pass.
I stroke your skin, and hold your hand;
this isn’t exactly what I had planned.
I cast my eyes up to the sky,
and say a little prayer;
that the Lord will hold you in his arms,
and keep you in his care.
So sleep and grow my baby,
and dream of clouds of foam,
and I will Love you thru the glass
until you can come home.

Edited to add: I think I’m going to put this in their scrapbooks!!

I feel…: touched

I know you all may be sick of this, but too bad!

We went down to the hospital again this evening. I got to spend some time with my boys! The nurse came and put them both on my lap and let me spend some time with them on my own! I didn’t get to Kangaroo, but it was nice just holding them…even if they were sleeping!! I enjoyed myself so much! Felt a little bad that Kevin and the boys were down in the lobby while I was there…for about 2 hours or so.

I was talking to their nurse tonight…right now they are in what is called an isolette (incubator), and she said they may try this weekend to go to an open crib! Which is a wonderful step! This means they are holding their body temperatures! Also they are going to up their feeds again (right now they are getting human fortified milk added to their breast milk to give them extra calories…we want them to gain weight…it’ll help them hold their temps). I’m so excited…The doctor came over and talked with em. He said that they were doing well and he wished all the other babies in the NICU would take notes from our boys. They are doing so well!! I said well, keep them over here so they can’t take after the other babies! LOL I was telling Kevin tonight that it always makes me feel better when the nurses and doctors tell me how well they are doing. And they aren’t just saying it either, they are so genuine and caring. Right now those nurses are my boys’ second mom!!

I feel…: grateful

We went to the NICU this evening. I was a bit nervous, Kevin stayed down in the waiting room with Michael and Noah since they aren’t allowed in the hospital. Anyway, I go upstairs and the nurse is getting ready to feed Andrew and Daniel. So she says, “Do you want to Kangaroo?” I’m like YEAH! Ok, I guess I should explain, Kangarooing is basically skin on skin contact. So I sit there and they put both Daniel and Andrew on my chest. OH MY! It was so awesome! I could have sat there and cried!! Daniel was rooting the whole time! That made me feel wonderful! The nurses were glad to see that too. Andrew just chilled. They are still feeding them through a tube that runs down their nose to their stomach, while they feed them, they put a paci in their mouth so they get the sucking motion and the feeding at the same time.

I just had to share with you…it was so wonderful!! The nurses did get me a few pictures…I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get them scanned into the computer to share with all of you.

From my initial look, I believe they are fraternal twins. Daniel has the same hair color as Noah and Andrew’s hair is the same as Michael’s. That alone makes me think they are fraternal. Now, I could be totally off here, but that’s just my initial thinking! We’ll see when they get a bit older to see if they look more alike or not.

Daniel: 2 pounds 12 ounces
Andrew: 2 pounds 9.6 ounces

I feel…: loved

No one told me…

No one told me how this could be…
No one told me that I would get pregnant with twins.
No one told me that you’d come too early…
No one told me that walking into an NICU could be so emotional
No one told me that you could be so little, yet thrive.
No one told me that when you look at me I’d melt.
No one told me that I could love you the way I do.
No one told me that love could double the way it has.
No one told me that the blessings would be this great!

I feel…: loved

Hey, I just wanted to pass along my information for you…we’ve had a pretty rough week this week. Kevin dealt with the flu during this whole time and missed the birth of our babies. Here’s our story:

On Monday (2/14), I went in for a routine OB appt. My blood pressure was high, so they wanted to admit me into the hospital for observation. When I got there, they ran a few tests and I had what is known as HELLPS. Which is part of pre-eclampsia where the liver stops functioning properly. So they transported me to a level 3 hospital. On Wednesday they took them by c-section. Daniel was born at 1:23 pm 2 pounds 15 ounces; Andrew was born at 1:25 pm 2 pounds 12 1/2 ounces. Andrew was 15 1/2 inches. Daniel was 15 1/4 inches . They are both breathing on their own, which is a big accomplishment. They were born at 31 weeks gestation.

They will be in the NICU for awhile. I got released from the hospital today. They had been watching my BP from the whole HELLPS thing. I’m still exhausted, but glad to be home.

Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers. If I could just get rid of the fever, I think I’d feel a lot better. I’m still coughing, but it’s the fever that’s really doing me in!

I feel…: sick

I’m so exhausted!! I was up almost every hour with either pain or having to potty. At about midnight, I broke down and started crying. Kevin asked me if I had taken any Tylonal yet, which I hadn’t, so I was trying to get some and dropped it on the floor…that was the end of my sanity!! Of course because I was crying so hard, I ended up getting sick I took my meds and then laid down and realized I had the chills. Yep, my lovely children decided to be so kind and share their sickness with me! So the Tylonal not only helped the pain I was having, it kicked my fever, and helped me relax to get some rest…not much, but some.

So, between me getting up to go potty, Noah getting up because he had a fever, me getting sick, there wasn’t much time for sleep!!

Today I feel better, well a little. I have a deep cough and I’m tired, but no anxiety or anything like that. Kevin said he was going to go to the doctor with me tomorrow morning. He never goes unless he’s concerned or knows I’m really upset.

Oh I want to stop coughing!!!

I feel…: exhausted

I am so nervous about my pregnancy right now. I know I’ve been having issues with my BP, my parents brought me a BP monitor that I could borrow…well, when I took it, the bottom # was 108!! That scared me!! I know that is high! Then later after laying on my left side for about an hour or 2, it was 97. I’m really scared. I don’t want to have to be in the hospital for this…I feel funny at times, a weird funny…you know, just not right…sort of feels like anxiety, but that’s not what it is.

I’m so scared that my body is starting to say it’s done…I need these babies to stay put for at least 4 more weeks if not longer. I know worrying only makes my bp go higher, but it is so hard not to worry. I just don’t think I could handle going into an NICU and seeing my babies struggling to live! :*(

I’ve been having sharp pains in my back, almost like a pinched nerve where the pain goes straight up my spine…it hurts! My skin on my stomach at times feels as though it’s being ripped apart. I just don’t know how much more my body can take!!

Please say some prayers for me…I need them more than ever before!! I’m losing it here!!! :*(

I feel…: worried

I decided to hold Michael home again today. He probably could have went, but with him being sick for 3 days this week and having a fever, losing his voice and coughing, I thought 1 more day plus the weekend would help out!! So he’s feeling better, but staying home. Kevin and I were watching tv last night and some of the schools in the area are closed today due to illness. Part of me is sort of glad that Michael is staying home because I fear that he’ll bring the flu home and I’ll get it…that’s something I DON’T want!! They were saying on the news that the flu is hitting pretty hard in the area right now. I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t have a problem being a “homebody” right now! LOL

Right now Michael and Noah are watching Toy Story 2…they were begging me to watch a movie so I decided to go ahead and let them.

I have so much cleaning to do, I’m hoping I’ll have enough energy to do most of it before Kevin gets home…without over doing it!

My parents are coming tomorrow afternoon. Mom is going to help me put the twin’s room together. Dad is going to help Kevin get our 2nd dresser in the house and up the stairs for the twin’s room. Mom said that dad had asked if any of my sister’s kids wanted to come, I guess my niece (Abby) said yes, and my other niece (Alyssa) said yes, then no…I figured the boys wouldn’t come…not their type of fun LOL. So they’ll have at least 1 of my nieces with them. Abby is 13 years old and helps out so much with Noah and Michael, and Alyssa is 7 months older than Michael…and such a tomboy it isn’t funny!! She actually asked for a football for Christmas because she’s determined to get on the Pee-wee football team (which is all boys). LOL

Ok, I think I’ve written enough, and the dog is wanting to go out again! UGH!

I feel…: okay